In business there are whole theories based around the way people are rewarded for their work. One such theory, Schedules of Reinforcement, is also used in the field of psychology and has to do with the way behaviors are either reinforced or extinguished. There are four primary schedules of reinforcement but let’s reflect on the strongest reinforcer of all, which is called the Variable Ratio of Reinforcement.
The Variable Ratio of Reinforcement means that every so often a particular behavior is going to be rewarded. The person generating the behavior can’t be sure when the behavior will be rewarded so they keep trying and keep trying. Every once in a while they get what they want (the behavior is rewarded) which then encourages them to keep trying the same means of getting the reward.
An example of a person engaging in a Variable Ratio of Reinforcement is a gambler at a slot machine. The person knows that if they just keep feeding the machine nickels (or has inflation put the price at a quarter?) eventually they might get rewarded with a payout. And, of course, they are hoping for a BIG payout! The machines “know” that if they reward the gambler with a small payout they are even more likely to keep putting nickels in the little slot – again looking for a bigger payout. By now the gambler is “hooked!” Just a few more nickels, just a few more minutes, and the gambler is SURE the big reward is coming.
This type of behavior is the most difficult of all to change or stop. In psychological jargon it is the “most resistant to extinction” and the easiest to get started again once it has been stopped. The rewards aren’t predictable in terms of frequency or size, but there ARE rewards at some point. And when the reward does come it simply strengthens the gambling behavior.
“What does this have to do with my child?” you are asking. After all your child isn’t a gambler; never goes near the slots! I assure you, Variable Ratios of Reinforcement are alive and well in most of our households. No, we don’t have slot machines, but we do have gamblers! In our homes it sounds like this: “Can I have some cookies?” “Not now, it is almost dinner time.” “Can I please have just one cookie?” “No, not now.” “Pleeease? I promise to eat all of my vegetables.” “I said, no.” “But, but… please!” “Fine! Have a cookie; have a dozen! But you had better eat all of your dinner.” Your son or daughter just gambled that if they persisted long enough they would get a reward, a payout from the mom or dad slot machine! And by giving in to their request you just strengthened their behavior so the next time they want a “payout” they will persist even more (perhaps add a whine or two or an octave or two).
There are millions of examples of kids “gambling” to get what they want. Perhaps it is candy or a toy at the checkout stand, another few minutes at the video game, another half hour of TV before bedtime, or more time to play outside. Whatever it is, just bear in mind that when you give in to the nagging, pleading, whining, wheedling, or whatever, you have just guaranteed yourself many more repeat performances. Oh, and don’t forget that it is one of the hardest behaviors to change!
Terrie L. Naramor, PhD
Pediatric Neuropsychologist
Acorn to Oak
8751 Collin McKinney Parkway,
Ste 1501, McKinney, TX 75070
(469) 678-5023
